Melancholy memories of events that never happened. Springing forward just to fall back. Lamenting over what I don’t have. Making the things I do pale without comparing. So at the bottom of this half empty glass I’m staring. Tears and spilled milk make a bitter concoction.
The tides are changing. Sand is slowly seeping from one end of the hour glass to the other. We can choose to wait until the time is right or do our very best to treasure, revel in and live each moment as the gift it is.
Sometimes love is a battlefield. Some people show up in their full armor, big guns & plenty of amo. While other arrive with a hopeful spirit unprepared to fight. They stand unprotected brandishing a butter knife!!
Oh love, you ultimate thrill seekers attraction. Carefully clicking me to higher heights. Causing me to throw my hands in the air, close my eyes and scream. While my body feels like it’s plummeting to its death. My heart reminds me that my harness is secure & in you I am safe.
We threw some words around! Love-trust-hope-family. Before they bled into the walls we picked up brushes, we painted around us & called it home.
Gentlemen, at the meeting of every woman’s thighs is a raging war. Suit up to fight, but remember to choose your battles wisely. Some territory is fruitful, while others are plagued. Think about what your getting yourself into.
In the steady rock of this very still moment…I am moving you.
Often the truth is found within the silent inhaled breathe between the words.
No switches. We are the light.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Truth Lied
Uncharacteristically angry.
Your truth sounds like the lies I tell myself.
The buried truth.
The truth that I never speak.
Truth that my mind rejects.
My soul guards it.
You weasel. You snake. You parasite.
I’d never trust nor invite you.
Misguided anger.
I own these lies.
Hide them behind smiles.
Shit!
That’s how you entered.
The innocence of parted lips.
Betrayed by my own front.
Even lies seek freedom.
Even lies seek light.
Complex anger.
On the verge of tears.
I cup my lips as if the ward off an escape.
I’ve cried too many times about this.
I hate lending my energy to this feeling.
Paralyzed by the truth of the lies.
Calling them lies make them easier to bare.
The truth of the matter is these are not lies.
They just hurt too much to call them truth.
Truth is supposed to be beautiful and rich.
This truth is so murky.
Reflective anger.
Internal blues dodger.
Weary woman.
Hurt harborer.
Happy face painter.
Emotional knot-tier.
Your truth sounds like the lies I tell myself.
The buried truth.
The truth that I never speak.
Truth that my mind rejects.
My soul guards it.
You weasel. You snake. You parasite.
I’d never trust nor invite you.
Misguided anger.
I own these lies.
Hide them behind smiles.
Shit!
That’s how you entered.
The innocence of parted lips.
Betrayed by my own front.
Even lies seek freedom.
Even lies seek light.
Complex anger.
On the verge of tears.
I cup my lips as if the ward off an escape.
I’ve cried too many times about this.
I hate lending my energy to this feeling.
Paralyzed by the truth of the lies.
Calling them lies make them easier to bare.
The truth of the matter is these are not lies.
They just hurt too much to call them truth.
Truth is supposed to be beautiful and rich.
This truth is so murky.
Reflective anger.
Internal blues dodger.
Weary woman.
Hurt harborer.
Happy face painter.
Emotional knot-tier.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Has A Song Ever...
The other night I was wide awake at like 3:00A for no apparent reason. I was watching Dave Chappelle’s Block Party and dancing and just thinking about how the music ignited me. I was so full and happy!! I just brought to the forefront of my mind the way and why I truly love music. My last love affair has its very own soundtrack, complete with the oddly innocent moment when my soul knew it was love and of course the melodies that coupled my lamentations when it was over. That is the ultimate testament to music. I can musically chart my life. While this message has no chronology, it is filled with moments that led me to ask...
Has a song ever…….
made love to you?
One night “Kind of Blue” (Miles Davis)
loved me so hard, my legs were shaking
and I could not catch my breath.
made you grateful to be alive?
One time “Just to Get By” (Talib Kweli)
made me realize how happy I am to be
here-present-me.
made you know that God is…..
“His Eye Is On The Sparrow” is my favorite
reminder.
opened a door for you?
Once I was so lost in love and
“Slowly, Surely” (Jill Scott) opened my
heart and eyes and I was able to walk
away.
aided in a depression?
Well, “For All We Know” (Donny Hathaway),
coupled with Jack Daniels, kept me low in the
best possible way.
started a party?
The bells in “Peter Piper” (Run DMC)
will make my ass
move no matter where I am.
gave you that dizzy-silly-ain’t nothing like it feeling?
Man, “Nothing Even Matters” (Lauryn Hill w/D’Angelo)
caused me to nose dive right into it.
made you say yea, that’s what I want?
If a man could relate to/understood “Your Lover
Too” (Van Morrison), I’d love him, Forever.
made you smile from start to finish?
You’d have to scrape the smile off my face when
“Sweetest Thing” (Lauryn Hill) is playing.
awakened a stream of anger?
“Bad Habit” (Offspring) is my road rage anthem.
made you want to get your shit together?
I paid the light and gas bill on time after listening to
“Can’t Tell Me Nothing” (Kayne West)
made you believe that you would Neva-eva-eva-eva love again?
Damn, “How Do You Mend a Broken Heart” (Al Green)
had me stuck.
reminded you that you are not alone?
One night “My Life” (Mary J. Blige) kept me company.
spoken to your soul?
I realized what a great communicator “Stronger
Than Pride” (Sade) is.
made you see your sexual truth?
“Play” (David Banner) makes me want to take it
all off and do the damn thang with a partner or DJ Dittles style.
made you praise motherhood?
“Ye-Yo” (Erykah Badu) makes me feel the full weight of
what I have been entrusted with.
made you think that you could fix it?
“Hold On” (Dwele) had me walking around with masking
tape and gorilla glue.
Peace and blessing,
Mykisha
Has a song ever…….
made love to you?
One night “Kind of Blue” (Miles Davis)
loved me so hard, my legs were shaking
and I could not catch my breath.
made you grateful to be alive?
One time “Just to Get By” (Talib Kweli)
made me realize how happy I am to be
here-present-me.
made you know that God is…..
“His Eye Is On The Sparrow” is my favorite
reminder.
opened a door for you?
Once I was so lost in love and
“Slowly, Surely” (Jill Scott) opened my
heart and eyes and I was able to walk
away.
aided in a depression?
Well, “For All We Know” (Donny Hathaway),
coupled with Jack Daniels, kept me low in the
best possible way.
started a party?
The bells in “Peter Piper” (Run DMC)
will make my ass
move no matter where I am.
gave you that dizzy-silly-ain’t nothing like it feeling?
Man, “Nothing Even Matters” (Lauryn Hill w/D’Angelo)
caused me to nose dive right into it.
made you say yea, that’s what I want?
If a man could relate to/understood “Your Lover
Too” (Van Morrison), I’d love him, Forever.
made you smile from start to finish?
You’d have to scrape the smile off my face when
“Sweetest Thing” (Lauryn Hill) is playing.
awakened a stream of anger?
“Bad Habit” (Offspring) is my road rage anthem.
made you want to get your shit together?
I paid the light and gas bill on time after listening to
“Can’t Tell Me Nothing” (Kayne West)
made you believe that you would Neva-eva-eva-eva love again?
Damn, “How Do You Mend a Broken Heart” (Al Green)
had me stuck.
reminded you that you are not alone?
One night “My Life” (Mary J. Blige) kept me company.
spoken to your soul?
I realized what a great communicator “Stronger
Than Pride” (Sade) is.
made you see your sexual truth?
“Play” (David Banner) makes me want to take it
all off and do the damn thang with a partner or DJ Dittles style.
made you praise motherhood?
“Ye-Yo” (Erykah Badu) makes me feel the full weight of
what I have been entrusted with.
made you think that you could fix it?
“Hold On” (Dwele) had me walking around with masking
tape and gorilla glue.
Peace and blessing,
Mykisha
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Here I Stand (Repeat Chorus)
Here I stand
A single woman
Under a single light
On a single stage
Behind a single mic
I live for right now because that’s how time is given to me.
Untying the bows of moments.
Understanding the gift of presence.
Gratitude is the attitude I strive to embody.
Savoring time as it flies by me.
So when I paint my memories they are perfectly pictured.
Vividly remembered.
Brightly burning embers.
No wishes or demands...
Here I stand
A single woman
Under a single light
On a single stage
Behind a single mic
He is the force that unknowingly drives me.
Cuts, divides and multiplies me.
Changed and renamed me.
I move myself so that he can be greater than me.
He is of me, yet he towers above me.
Allowing me to know what love can be when you stop living selfishly.
When the we becomes greater than the me.
As my growing boy becomes a man…
Here I stand
A single woman
Under a single light
On a single stage
Behind a single mic
My life’s aim is not to lay claim to material things.
But to experience the joy, pain and love it brings.
Expensive stuff at the expense of what I can’t touch.
I’d exchange a closet full of clothes for a moment’s peace in my soul.
Solid gold for a hand to hold.
Those Dr. Dre headphones are worthless when listening to my hearts song.
Working, scratching, lying, back biting trying to garner things.
When waking up in the morning is already a blessing.
Praising Him for all I have.
Fat pockets or empty hands.
Here I stand
A single woman
Under a single light
On a single stage
Behind a single mic
A single woman
Under a single light
On a single stage
Behind a single mic
I live for right now because that’s how time is given to me.
Untying the bows of moments.
Understanding the gift of presence.
Gratitude is the attitude I strive to embody.
Savoring time as it flies by me.
So when I paint my memories they are perfectly pictured.
Vividly remembered.
Brightly burning embers.
No wishes or demands...
Here I stand
A single woman
Under a single light
On a single stage
Behind a single mic
He is the force that unknowingly drives me.
Cuts, divides and multiplies me.
Changed and renamed me.
I move myself so that he can be greater than me.
He is of me, yet he towers above me.
Allowing me to know what love can be when you stop living selfishly.
When the we becomes greater than the me.
As my growing boy becomes a man…
Here I stand
A single woman
Under a single light
On a single stage
Behind a single mic
My life’s aim is not to lay claim to material things.
But to experience the joy, pain and love it brings.
Expensive stuff at the expense of what I can’t touch.
I’d exchange a closet full of clothes for a moment’s peace in my soul.
Solid gold for a hand to hold.
Those Dr. Dre headphones are worthless when listening to my hearts song.
Working, scratching, lying, back biting trying to garner things.
When waking up in the morning is already a blessing.
Praising Him for all I have.
Fat pockets or empty hands.
Here I stand
A single woman
Under a single light
On a single stage
Behind a single mic
Friday, August 27, 2010
FIVE Art Show - Thank You!!
FIVE Art Show was so spiritually and outwardly awesome! I’m beyond grateful to God for blessing me with sight and vision! From inception to execution. I learned so much…not just about event planning, but about myself as well. It awoke a passion in my spirit that is new and completely unfamiliar.
Enough about my “feelings”. LOL!! This post is dedicated to everyone that touched FIVE with their energy and spirit!
Please note that this list has no chronology!!
Super special thanks to all the vendors & food trucks!! Paul - Mara - Bijou Royale - Nana Queens - Fresh Fries!!
Ashlynn – Bless you for being my partner in crime. My scheme-mate. Put on your hard hat, we’re just getting started! You are invaluable!! I love you like water and wind!
Yohannce – Bless you for being a sounding board. For connecting dots and helping me put pieces in there proper place. My appreciation for you runs deep!
Buddy – Bless you for your energy. For answering my insane phone calls and making me feel at ease. Thank you for keeping the crowd moving! I owe you big time!!
Tiana – Bless your aura, spirit, truth. Although we didn’t do what we set out to do, we got to connect. It was mad worth it!
Brian – Bless you for being so fly! Thank you for the brilliant flyer! Thank you for letting my pester you! Thank in advance for all the stuff I plan to bug you about in the near future! All the best love!
Hiram – Bless you for being an inspiration. You are a direct link to the show’s foundation. You unknowingly encouraged my dream! Thank you for letting my high jack your show! LOL! The best is yet to come!
Jbro5ki – Bless you for holding it down!! Your energy brought life to the people! Your presence filled the room! Thank you so much! Next time we connect, it’s your turn to bring the Vanilla Coke! =)
Treklife – Bless your heart! We knew each other in our formative years. I’m so blessed know you as a man! Your love for hip hop is evident from your tone to delivery to content. You are a treasure! You will always be on MY LIST!!
Cordell – Bless you for your all in attitude. Your work set those walls ablaze. I’m forever a fan and I have something in the oven for the very near future!
Dataone – Bless you for being my dance partner! LOL! Thanks for being you and encouraging me in unconventional ways! Super Mad Love!
Jarvis – Bless you for being so damn dope!! You already know that I love your work and spirit! Keep shining and believing! Our future collaboration is going to be mean!
Michael – Mellow Music Group – Bless you for stepping out on faith with me! Thank you for building with me! Thank you for being a magical wizard that I’m now hell bent on meeting!! LOL!
Akeyla – Bless your spirit! You exude passion, light and love! I’m so happy to call you friend and sister! You are so beautiful…by sight and spirit! I love you like fried chicken and grape soda!!
Senor Cocks – Bless you for being my friend! For believing in the madness that is me and sharing the insanity that is you! I love you so much!
Ameer – Bless you for being open. Please know that you are dope and special! No doubts! You are bound for higher heights!!
Cinnamon – Bless you for your love! Thank you so much for stepping in!! I love you way too much!
DaeOne – Bless your energy! You’re my brother-friend!! Thank you for being there, sharing you and always making me feel like I can fly!! I’m so proud of you…You freakin’ musically genius!!
JBiz – Bless you for being so damn Fresh!! I always say that real music should evoke a feeling. From head nodding to aspirations of body rocking you got it all!! LOL! Mad grateful that you were a part in the show!
Rondoval – Bless your energy! I love you! You are an amazing artist, but above all you are the most genuine, loving and beautiful person I know!
Michael Anthony – Bless you for being the dopest singing from the soul singer I know! Although, you weren’t there, your spirit was! Bless you for being the epitome of a friend! For encouraging all my crazy ideas and dreams! Please know…There will be a next time!
Danielle – Bless you for your love! Bless you for moving and shaking!! I love you beyond words!
Abel – Bless you for your help! Thank you for brainstorming and idea sharing with me on FIVE and all of my other harebrain schemes!! So grateful to know you!
Pen – Bless you for saying YES!! You were my dream artist! My whale of sorts! It meant the world to me to have you share the sheer dopeness that is you in my show.
Van – Bless you for encouragement! Thanks for coming through and ripping. Thanks for that side chat. Your words are hidden in my heart! I appreciate you beyond words! The connection is blessed!
Noni – Bless your pimp hand!! LOL!! It’s mad strong! LOL! Thanks for coming through, for being a dope rhyme sayer, for chastising me for racy pics, for being you!!
Richard Wright – Bless you for the surprise!! Thanks for blessing the crowd with your magical presence and summer anthem!! I got my eye on you! Stay fly!
Christopher – Bless you for your light! You shine brighter that you’ll ever know. You’re radiant and beautiful in ways I can’t explain. Thank you for sharing your ideas and knowledge!
Tha Boogie – Bless you for your authenticity!! You all are so true to your passion. It shows in everything you do! Continue to move outside of the box, beyond the lines and defy genres!! My love for you is infinite!
Great night!! Below is the link to prove it!!
Five Art Show Photos
Enough about my “feelings”. LOL!! This post is dedicated to everyone that touched FIVE with their energy and spirit!
Please note that this list has no chronology!!
Super special thanks to all the vendors & food trucks!! Paul - Mara - Bijou Royale - Nana Queens - Fresh Fries!!
Ashlynn – Bless you for being my partner in crime. My scheme-mate. Put on your hard hat, we’re just getting started! You are invaluable!! I love you like water and wind!
Yohannce – Bless you for being a sounding board. For connecting dots and helping me put pieces in there proper place. My appreciation for you runs deep!
Buddy – Bless you for your energy. For answering my insane phone calls and making me feel at ease. Thank you for keeping the crowd moving! I owe you big time!!
Tiana – Bless your aura, spirit, truth. Although we didn’t do what we set out to do, we got to connect. It was mad worth it!
Brian – Bless you for being so fly! Thank you for the brilliant flyer! Thank you for letting my pester you! Thank in advance for all the stuff I plan to bug you about in the near future! All the best love!
Hiram – Bless you for being an inspiration. You are a direct link to the show’s foundation. You unknowingly encouraged my dream! Thank you for letting my high jack your show! LOL! The best is yet to come!
Jbro5ki – Bless you for holding it down!! Your energy brought life to the people! Your presence filled the room! Thank you so much! Next time we connect, it’s your turn to bring the Vanilla Coke! =)
Treklife – Bless your heart! We knew each other in our formative years. I’m so blessed know you as a man! Your love for hip hop is evident from your tone to delivery to content. You are a treasure! You will always be on MY LIST!!
Cordell – Bless you for your all in attitude. Your work set those walls ablaze. I’m forever a fan and I have something in the oven for the very near future!
Dataone – Bless you for being my dance partner! LOL! Thanks for being you and encouraging me in unconventional ways! Super Mad Love!
Jarvis – Bless you for being so damn dope!! You already know that I love your work and spirit! Keep shining and believing! Our future collaboration is going to be mean!
Michael – Mellow Music Group – Bless you for stepping out on faith with me! Thank you for building with me! Thank you for being a magical wizard that I’m now hell bent on meeting!! LOL!
Akeyla – Bless your spirit! You exude passion, light and love! I’m so happy to call you friend and sister! You are so beautiful…by sight and spirit! I love you like fried chicken and grape soda!!
Senor Cocks – Bless you for being my friend! For believing in the madness that is me and sharing the insanity that is you! I love you so much!
Ameer – Bless you for being open. Please know that you are dope and special! No doubts! You are bound for higher heights!!
Cinnamon – Bless you for your love! Thank you so much for stepping in!! I love you way too much!
DaeOne – Bless your energy! You’re my brother-friend!! Thank you for being there, sharing you and always making me feel like I can fly!! I’m so proud of you…You freakin’ musically genius!!
JBiz – Bless you for being so damn Fresh!! I always say that real music should evoke a feeling. From head nodding to aspirations of body rocking you got it all!! LOL! Mad grateful that you were a part in the show!
Rondoval – Bless your energy! I love you! You are an amazing artist, but above all you are the most genuine, loving and beautiful person I know!
Michael Anthony – Bless you for being the dopest singing from the soul singer I know! Although, you weren’t there, your spirit was! Bless you for being the epitome of a friend! For encouraging all my crazy ideas and dreams! Please know…There will be a next time!
Danielle – Bless you for your love! Bless you for moving and shaking!! I love you beyond words!
Abel – Bless you for your help! Thank you for brainstorming and idea sharing with me on FIVE and all of my other harebrain schemes!! So grateful to know you!
Pen – Bless you for saying YES!! You were my dream artist! My whale of sorts! It meant the world to me to have you share the sheer dopeness that is you in my show.
Van – Bless you for encouragement! Thanks for coming through and ripping. Thanks for that side chat. Your words are hidden in my heart! I appreciate you beyond words! The connection is blessed!
Noni – Bless your pimp hand!! LOL!! It’s mad strong! LOL! Thanks for coming through, for being a dope rhyme sayer, for chastising me for racy pics, for being you!!
Richard Wright – Bless you for the surprise!! Thanks for blessing the crowd with your magical presence and summer anthem!! I got my eye on you! Stay fly!
Christopher – Bless you for your light! You shine brighter that you’ll ever know. You’re radiant and beautiful in ways I can’t explain. Thank you for sharing your ideas and knowledge!
Tha Boogie – Bless you for your authenticity!! You all are so true to your passion. It shows in everything you do! Continue to move outside of the box, beyond the lines and defy genres!! My love for you is infinite!
Great night!! Below is the link to prove it!!
Five Art Show Photos
Monday, August 2, 2010
Paradise?
I used to live in a beautiful home. We built it with the intentions of living there together…forever.
Well manicure grass. Clean gutters. An inviting brick walkway. Impeccably painted.
Wood burning fireplace. Fresh flowers on the table.
A staircase that led to the master suite, where we sweetly mastered each other.
It overlooked a garden that we often fed upon.
I cooked and he emptied trash.
Our own personal paradise.
Even paradise has its imperfections.
Like when we’d leave.
Unknowingly we’d invite in insecurity.
Without warning open our doors to infidelity.
Unsure which one led to the other or if the beauty of this home became too much to manage.
Either way the things that made this house lovely slowly started being neglected.
Weeds in the front yard. Overflowing gutters. Chipped paint.
Empty vases. No wood. Masters became novices. Fruit and vegetation slowly rot.
Home cooking was replaced by meals that came in bags. Trash started to overrun.
It became a dump.
Like love, once paradise, meeting its demise to parasites.
Feeding on unsuspecting and unprepared hosts.
Two unwitting spirits that didn’t realize that paradise is the place that lives within.
The place without walls, walkways and windows.
Not a palatial palace on a street with no address and broken keys.
Not a dream like state detached from reality.
Well manicure grass. Clean gutters. An inviting brick walkway. Impeccably painted.
Wood burning fireplace. Fresh flowers on the table.
A staircase that led to the master suite, where we sweetly mastered each other.
It overlooked a garden that we often fed upon.
I cooked and he emptied trash.
Our own personal paradise.
Even paradise has its imperfections.
Like when we’d leave.
Unknowingly we’d invite in insecurity.
Without warning open our doors to infidelity.
Unsure which one led to the other or if the beauty of this home became too much to manage.
Either way the things that made this house lovely slowly started being neglected.
Weeds in the front yard. Overflowing gutters. Chipped paint.
Empty vases. No wood. Masters became novices. Fruit and vegetation slowly rot.
Home cooking was replaced by meals that came in bags. Trash started to overrun.
It became a dump.
Like love, once paradise, meeting its demise to parasites.
Feeding on unsuspecting and unprepared hosts.
Two unwitting spirits that didn’t realize that paradise is the place that lives within.
The place without walls, walkways and windows.
Not a palatial palace on a street with no address and broken keys.
Not a dream like state detached from reality.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Dancer
Shall we dance. Arms extended, hands clasped, gaze locked. I press my body against his, my breasts rest easy on his chest. I relax into his embrace. My head lay at rest on his shoulder. His hand cupping my waist. He whispers, the words hit me ear. They ring. He steps. I follow. He turns me. I willingly spin. Controlled. Knowing we will meet in that sweet place. Gazed locked, chests pressed, we smile. My footwork is flawless, his words continue to intoxicate. I am spinning. The room is spinning. He is smiling. I am falling. I am sweetly mistaken. Hands clasped, his hand is cupping my waist, my leg extended. His final flourish, a dip.
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